So you’ve just met someone, and now you have exchanged numbers. You’ve gotten an achievement, but now the challenge is keeping them interested and making sure they know that you are interested.
Modern times have made communicating and initiating conversation so easy, until you have to send a message, then it feels like all the words have left your brain. This article might just be your saving grace. Let’s talk about texts, why they are important, and how they can help improve your chatting skills at the start of a new relationship.
Text Conversation StartersThe Importance of TextingConversation StartersHow Texting Strengthens Relationships
The Importance of Texting
Texting is a great way to express yourself comfortably. Most research suggests that people prefer texting because they feel like they have the privacy to form thoughts without the pressure of having to reply on the spot. Texting has become such a big part of how we interact today that it’s come with its own set of rules and expectations, especially in dating.
A Text a Day Keeps the Doubts Away
Daily texting is crucial at the beginning of a relationship. This might sound silly because you might not think texting daily is important, but waiting on a text for someone that never comes is one of the most anxiety-driven feelings in the world. You overthink and start to analyze texts you’ve sent in the past, wondering if you had done something wrong to offend that other person or if they have lost interest altogether. It happens to everyone, especially at the start of a budding romance.
This is the most awkward phase of any new texting relationship, sometimes you have to be the one to take the leap and send the first message, but it will all be worth the nervous knot that formed in the pit of your stomach because there is no better feeling than getting a text from your crush or sending a cute text to your crush, but it’s slightly hard to do that is you’re just starting. So here are some great conversation starters that can help you get to know your intended a whole lot better.
The “Getting to Know You” Texts.
These are the easiest things to talk about, but don’t set the standard “what’s your favorite color” text, approach the topic differently. Here are some texts to add to your starter kit:
- “If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you need to survive.”
- “If you ever had a really bad day, name two things that will instantly cheer you up.”
- “Cake for breakfast, yay or nay?”
- “I’m so obsessed with (insert your obsession here) right now. What are you binging?”
- “Everyone says that (insert whatever here) is so great, but I think it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Have you ever experienced a disappointing hype?”
- “Name 3 things you cannot leave the house without. Mine are (insert here).”
- “I know it’s kind of strange, but I love (insert food combination here). Tell me you have a crazy food combo too?”
- “One of the crazier things on my bucket list is (insert here). Do you have anything like that on your bucket list?”
- “I’ve never understood the point of (insert here). Do you think it’s crazy too?”
- “I’m thinking of having a movie marathon, snacks, and pizza, the works. But I can’t decide what to put on my movie list. What do you usually watch when you have a marathon?”
The “I’m Thinking of You” Texts.
This category might seem self-explanatory, but you can be more creative if you just put a little thought into it. Getting a text from someone knowing that they were thinking of you can really change a person’s mood, texts like these can really build a relationship and establish romantic feelings. Here are some text examples that might really make their day:
- “Looking at the (e.g., sunset) You said you hardly get time to notice the small things and thought it might make you smile.” Obviously, add a picture.
- “I just saw! (e.g., someone dressed as Cinderella giving out flowers) oh my gosh, I got you on and a picture. I know you love the Disney princesses.”
- “Okay, so I just passed this really cool ice cream shop, making a mental note to take you there the next time we meet. You’re going to love it!”
- “Finally having a coffee break, is your day as hectic as mine?’
- “(E.g., Cute kitten video) Thought you might need this today.”
- “I’ve been thinking about our upcoming date, and I’m thinking we (insert plan here).”
- “I’m trying that (insert food/restaurant) verdict to come….”
- “Having lunch at my desk. I would rather be having lunch with you.”
- “I saw this. (share link/video/picture) It made my day, hoping it makes yours!”
- “I’m having a rough day. I’m tempted to (e.g., have a drink after work), would you like to join me?”
The “Can’t Talk” Text.
Often there are times where you can’t text, sometimes it’s easy to predict when your day is going to be busy, and you can usually tell your new romantic interest that you might not be able to text as much during the day. Other times, you get caught up in something unexpected, but it’s really important to take those few extra seconds to send a text to inform the person on the other side of the phone that you will not be available for a while.
- “I’m booked all day, and I’ll text when I can!”
- “Suddenly got called into a meeting, will chat after.”
- “Rush hour, let’s catch up after!”
- “I’m in an emergency, nothing to stress about, but can’t talk for a while, I will chat later.”
- “I’m going to be traveling a lot today, so I might lose signal. I’ll text you when I can.”
- “My deadline has been moved up. I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
- “I have to go; we will chat soon!”
- “I’m going to concentrate on my work for the last few hours of the day. Let’s make plans to catch up later!”
- “Boss just got here, and he is in a mood; I have to go, chat later.”
- “Family emergency, I will catch you up to speed when I am free.”
How Texting Strengthens Relationships
The last thing you want is for someone to think you have lost interest in them. Texting on a regular basis is extremely important; it’s the basis of communication you set up in the relationship at the beginning because it’s the most comfortable way of communicating. Continuous messaging is a key factor to keeping a new relationship going, and here’s how.
1. Builds Trust.
The one constant thing you can do to build trust between you and your new partner is communicating. Because we use text to communicate so often, it is important not to neglect your texting responsibilities.
When you don’t text someone back, they might think that the conversation has bored you or that you are no longer interested in them or think you are hiding something from them. The insecurities that we all live with do sometimes get the better of us, and we end up projecting negative emotions over something as simple as not returning a text.
2. Becoming Familiar With Each Other.
The best way to get to know someone is to learn their texting habits. Do they use emoticons? Do they enjoy receiving gifs and memes? Do they spam message you, or do they prefer to send long messages? Simple observations like this can lead to a deeper understanding of the person you are texting with.
You’re not the only one analyzing texts though, they are too, so be sure to be your most authentic self. Once you get into a regular texting habit, you also learn about someone’s routine and personality and so can probably predict when they are busy or when they would rather be left alone for a while.
Tiny observations like this can really help you and your new partner feel connected beyond the textual conversations you have. That is how you form a meaningful, lasting relationship.
3. Having Someone Talk To.
As much as we hate to admit it to ourselves, we can get pretty lonely. Having someone to talk to, especially after a rough day, can help you and your partner feel connected. Knowing that they can come to you and receive support, comfort and advice is a really big relief and tester in a relationship.
Sometimes people can only say something over text because physically saying it is not possible for them. It also gives you a sense of purpose because you are the one they came to, which feels pretty great. Remember to read the situation, do they need comforting, or do they need advice?
They came to you, so you need to provide them with what they need and often a comforting text to help someone face the challenge ahead of them.
Wrapping Things Up
Finally, getting the privilege of texting someone is such a rush of emotions; you’re excited and nervous all at once, and you might stumble over your words looking for the perfect conversation. The truth is that no one is looking for the cheesy pick-up line we see in movies. People want authenticity and stimulating conversation.
Don’t be afraid to just be yourself. You will most probably end up impressing them more with your knowledge of Harry Potter than trying to be something superficial. Lastly, don’t forget to hit send.