Going on a date for the first time can raise your hopes and give you a sleepless night – you know, a lot of things running through your mind at the same time. You don’t want to get there only to treat your date to boredom with silence or self-centered questions. Instead, your wish is to enjoy your time out there while getting to know that fantastic person you’ve invited.
While you can easily make a first impression with your appearance, gait, and composure, what you need to sustain a super-duper aura on a date is a good conversation. It’s a date and not a business meeting; hence, it’s supposed to be exciting to the extent that it gets your date looking forward to another date with you.
Thus, providing answers to the big question “what to talk about?” becomes necessary as it’s one of the weapons you need to create the best experience. We are sure having a first-date starter tip on what to say and whatnot would come in handy to help you.
What to Talk About on Your First DateFirst Dates and AnxietyImportant Things to Talk About on Your First Date
First Dates and Anxiety
First dates are always linked with anxiety. You feel anxious about many things, what to wear, what to say (especially if you are the shy type), what to do, and a lot of others.
You have a lot on your table. Before stepping out of the house, try to get rid of those nerves by planning how you want the date to go. Draw out a plan and have a template; this will help a lot whenever you seem to get stocked.
This anxiety increases when you have never met the person. Also, when you get there and start talking, make sure you don’t keep the focus on yourself at first. Keep the spotlight on the other person for a while. Show interest in the person to get control of your nerves. Keep going at your own pace, don’t rush into things. To be more comfortable, build your conversation around what you already know.
Important Things to Talk About on Your First Date
Going further, don’t get carried away with the food, drinks, or atmosphere and forget important questions to ask while on a date. Keep in mind that a first-time date night can birth a long-lasting love relationship, or it might just end there. No matter the outcome, don’t ever miss these questions for anything.
1. Talk About Their Well-Being.
Don’t jump into having serious conversations on your first date. Even if the conversation gets so serious, that will be based on how the other person responds. The first thing to do is to ask about their general well-being. Ask questions like:
- How are you doing?
- How has your day been?
Make them feel comfortable and let them know you care about them.
2. Talk About General Issues.
After asking about their well-being, then you can proceed to talk about general issues. Issues that they can easily talk about. You can talk about the weather, the restaurant, and other things. Ask about their background, little questions about their parents and siblings. You don’t want to sound too nosy on your first date.
- Do you like the restaurant?
- The weather is cool today, right?
- When’s your birthday?
- Where did you grow up?
- What is your family like?
3. Talk About Talents and Hobbies.
Ask about special talents they have or what they love to do for fun. This will get them to talk. You know, for someone passionate about something, in particular, they want to talk about it when they have the opportunity.
- What do you do for fun?
- What are your hobbies?
- What do you dislike in a person?
- Where would you love to travel to?
- What are you good at?
4. Talk About Life’s Philosophy.
A person’s perspective about issues reveals a lot of things about them. So ask for their opinion about life and certain philosophies. You might end up finding out more about them than you expected.
- Are you an idealist, a pessimist, or a realist?
- Do you love politics?
- What is your view about a particular TV show or series?
- Talk about goals and aspirations.
You want to know if this person you’re meeting for the first time has got some positive vibes like you. You want to know if you share similar goals or are both futuristic persons. This is why talking about your short-term, and long-term goals are quite important. This also helps you ascertain your compatibility as you want to know if the person is the right fit.
However, engaging your date in this kind of conversation is tricky because you don’t want to give the wrong impression and appear overly competitive. To get started on this, you may ask questions like;
- Where do you see yourself in the next couple of years?
- Would you like to tour the world someday?
- What things do you look forward to achieving in about five years from now?
5. Talk About Family.
While you should keep it as minimal as possible, you can raise one or two questions about your families. This helps to project you as a family-oriented person. Talking about family is also a hack to get them to a relaxed spot.
You should begin by saying an amazing thing about your family, what keeps you connected to each other and all. However, you have to be conscious of your date’s reaction. Some people owing to their brutalized experience and harsh upbringing, may not appreciate such conversations.
6. Be Creative With Your Questions.
Even with all the questions and guides given above, creativity is the key to enjoying your date. You can coin questions yourself based on their responses. Don’t ask the typical questions people ask on a date.
Instead, give them the space to talk, don’t be the only one doing the “talking”, it bore people easily. Let the conversation take its natural course. Just be yourself and forget about the image you were painting in your head before coming for the date.
Topics to Avoid on Your First Date
While it is important to talk about everything necessary, some conversations should be avoided. They are red flags that might quench the positivity of the atmosphere you’ve worked hard to create. Below are the topics to avoid on your first date;
1. Avoid Controversial Questions.
Controversial topics should be avoided on a first date. Topics about finance and how much you earn can make you look as if you are showing off. Politics and religion are controversial topics that can lead to an argument. So even if the other person brings it up, make sure it doesn’t lead to an argument. Find a way to excuse yourself from the topic before it gets too heated.
2. Avoid Talking About Your Ex.
Do not mention your previous relationship on your first date, especially if you want the date to progress into something meaningful. Do not bad-mouth your ex. It paints you wrongly before your date.
3. Avoid Topics That Are Centered on Sex.
This is a very sensitive topic to avoid. Talking about sexual encounters and escapades can be a turn-off on a first date. Apart from sex, do not talk about marriage and kids. You can’t be sure what the other person wants out of the date. And you don’t want to sound like a pervert or a desperado.
4. Avoid Sharing Secrets and Fears.
This is your first date! No matter how intense and interesting the conversation seems, do not talk about your secret on the first date. You just want to get to know this person, and having a simple conversation doesn’t mean they are trustworthy. So, watch what you say when it comes to sharing your inner fears and secrets.
5. Avoid Talking About Family Drama.
No matter how exhausting your family is, don’t engage the other person with your family drama. Note that you will talk about each other’s family on a first date, but skip the drama that comes with it.
Avoid These Common Manner Mistakes During Your First Date
Do Not Make the Date About You.
Yes! It is a date that involves two people. Don’t make the whole conversation about you. When you talk, you get their response and allow them to ask questions too.
Avoid Being Arrogant.
First impressions last a long time. Arrogance is a turn-off, so avoid being rude. Answering questions with simple yes or no can also be rude.
Do not Focus on Your Cell Phone.
It is bad when all of your attention is on your cell phone while on a date. You can just mute your phone, or better still, switch it off for the main time. The date won’t take the whole day, so sparing a few hours to talk won’t hurt. Checking your phone disconnects you from the conversation and makes the other person look like they are wasting their time.
By now, you should know that getting your first date to a thrilling spot comes with how juicy your conversation is. It would go a long way to determine if the relationship would continue or meet its abrupt end. You should endeavor to commit every bit of information in this write-up to mind as they would help you in the long run to become a good conversationalist.